The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
