cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
