Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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