I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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