Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
