Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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