god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
