hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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