Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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