But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
