Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
