Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
