It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize