Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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