I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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