you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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