We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
