my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
