It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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