how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So here I am, sexting at work.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
