Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
