So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
ttyl tear gas
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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