dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
