First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
