I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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