oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
