I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is wine microwaveable?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
