This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
