Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
