You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
