im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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