ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
