Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
