She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
