That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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