I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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