I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
nutella sex= disaster
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
