That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
