You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
