so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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