Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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