I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
