my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
