areolas are like halos for boobs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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