I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Everclear isn't food dammit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
