Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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