JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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