As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
