We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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