if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize