Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
