like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
