I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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