Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
