I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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