Fuck appropriateness.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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