I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
