i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
