Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Houston, we have a blender
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
