I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
