i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
