I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
