shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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