If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
