Me. At least after what I've been through.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and she was petting her beer can
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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