Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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