Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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