Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
