You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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