I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
